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        2. 當前位置:隨筆吧>日志>愛情日志> 如果是劫 請快點渡過

          如果是劫 請快點渡過

          那一刻我心情忐忑,不知道去找你 是對是錯,也不知道那晚之后我們的關系是否會改變 結局會不會一樣,我忐忑不安的坐著從南昌回家的大巴。那種回到從前的錯覺 在我腦子里不停的轉動,我幻想以后 未來,幻想婚姻 甚至幻想到了這一輩子跟你的糾纏。

          其實2年前,我以為自己已經改變了 變得堅強 冷漠 面對你的時候 可以從容自然 好像陌生人一般,可是當真正面對起來的時候,我又變成一個弱者。我討厭這樣懦弱的自己,在你面前永遠低一截的狀態。

          朋友試探性的跟你對話 挑起你對婚姻的欲望,可是一切的暗示 明示 你都假裝不懂,他們都說不要再耗著了吧,5 年了 6 年了 ,真的能糾纏下去這么一輩子嗎。 我曾經求過你 不要再踏入我的生活 不要找我 消失吧?可是你怎么可能會聽我的,于是又一輪輪的糾纏不休,每次我都以為要開花結果了,最終還是徒勞。

          他們說 你30歲了,你以為你20歲嗎? 現實點吧,再過兩年 你都是高齡產婦了,找不到對象 生孩子也費勁。你已經不青春了。 這些道理我何嘗能不知道,或許是不甘心 那么多年的付出 那么多年的相處,已經把他當做親人般,沒有人可代替這種情感。

          我做過最壞的打算是孤獨終老,也想過閉眼隨便選一個各方面合適的人結婚,就那樣吧。至少不愛的人 我不會難過 也不會失望,可是人犯賤起來 自己攔都攔不住。明明知道 沒有未來,也等不到天長地久,可是還是心有不甘的去觀望。

          家人朋友 在耳邊不停的催促,而你像個鐵人一樣無動于衷 又不肯放手。前面的 很黑 很迷惘 我多么希望有個人 在我身邊告訴我到底 我要該怎么辦才好

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