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        2. 當前位置:隨筆吧>小說>友情文章> 朋友之間就該人走茶涼

          朋友之間就該人走茶涼

          10、30、60,是交朋友的極限,10以內的人包含父母、親朋,可以借錢,人走了,茶還是熱的;30以內的人,是挺親密的朋友,人走了,茶是溫的;60以內的人,不常聯系,但提一下就能想到,這些人走了,茶必須涼,不然大家都累。

          心理學家分析過,10、30、60三個數,這是人交朋友的極限。

          所謂10,就是最親密的朋友基本上超不過10個,把親戚朋友加起來也超不過10個。這10個朋友是可以借錢的,在最困難的時候,可以向他們借錢。

          這些人是最安全的底線。時不時有聯系,偶爾有聚會,可以打個電話幫忙辦點事,還能彼此惦記的大概是30人,可能一周聯系一次,一個月見兩三次。

          這些人是同事、親屬、同學等。

          再往下是60個,一打電話說一下就知道,比如說十年沒見的同學,但一說就知道,拿起電話知道這個人,但好久不聯系,聯系起來說事也能做。

          10人、30人、60人,這里邊有一些是重疊的,有一些不重疊,加起來也就百來個人。別看我電話號碼本上有3000多人的聯系方式,常用的也就是百十來個電話,剩下的是時不時看一看都想不起來的人。

          實際上,人一生當中的朋友并不多。10人、30人、60人,前面10人關系最穩定;30人處于中間狀態,關系比較穩定;而60人中,有些是朋友、哥們兒,如果有事了,他可能還會過來拜訪下,打打電話什么的,沒事了,就再也不見了。

          我們經常用“人走茶涼”來形容世態炎涼、人情冷暖,但我覺得人走茶涼是對的,朋友之間也應該人走茶涼,不然,那么多朋友,你都招呼不過來了。人走茶涼,再換新茶,這是一種良性循環。人走了茶老不涼,你覺得累,他也會覺得累。

          像前面說的這60人范圍內的人,基本上應該人走茶必須涼;30人范圍之內的,你走了,茶還在那兒,時不時溫一溫就行;10人之內的人走了,茶也是熱的。

          但人與人之間的關系是經常變動的,有時候30人之內的,關系可能逐漸疏遠,變為60人之內的,人走了茶就涼了;60人之內的人也可能和你越走越近,變成30人之內的,人走了,茶還是溫的。這些都是正常的,不用太苛求。

          我有王石、柳傳志這樣的朋友,也有易小迪、潘石屹這樣曾經合作過的朋友,我們一路走來,大家在一起的時候很開心,相互間互相影響,共同成長,共同進步,雖然大家最后分開了,但到一起了,還是朋友。

          2011年,萬通二十周年生日晚會,我們六個人又聚到了一起,大家先給我捧場,來參加了慶祝會。

          散會后,除了小潘有事先走了以外,我們其他幾個人又跑到東三環順峰酒店一起吃飯聊天,一直聊到深夜一點多。

          時隔二十年再聚到一起,大家相互之間還是感到很親切,當初一起創業的那段時光已經變成了我們各自心底的一段很深刻的記憶。

          其實我們六個人,聯系的頻率也是有差異的。我和小潘因為生意上有往來,所以彼此聯系得稍微多一些。其他幾個人倒不常聯系,但是大家的感情倒沒什么差別。

          我們就相當于是30人之內的這些朋友,人走了,不在一起了,也不會忘記,人走了茶,還是溫的。不常聯系,不代表忘記。

          另外,有些朋友則比較鬧心,有時候你掏心掏肺地對待這些朋友,他們卻在你背后做小動作,甚至做一些比較損的事兒。

          我們曾經就遇到過一個這樣的人,我們和一個公司談項目,那個公司負責這個項目的人和他上司看起來關系還不錯,但他和我們談的時候,一開始就暗示我們要給回扣之類的。

          我覺得對于他上司來說,他這個朋友真是夠損的,這樣的人,應該早點把他從公司趕走,他也根本不配做別人的朋友。

          我們如果遇到這樣的朋友,老是做一些傷害我們的事,我們一定不能猶豫,該和他斷絕關系的就趕緊斷,就把他當作手機、電腦里的一些垃圾文件、病毒之類的,趕緊刪掉,不然遲早會出問題的。

          不用浪費時間和感情在這樣的人身上,應該空出位置留給新的朋友才對。(文/馮侖)

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